thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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