I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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