he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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