Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
All the doctor said was why
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
