my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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