is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
