FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
