so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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