I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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