I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
