Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
being pregnant is like rehab
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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