we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
