end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
