how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
