Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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