ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
