I smell stomach acid.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
