can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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