And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
