Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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