Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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