She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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