Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
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