dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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