He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
