worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
