I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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