he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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