remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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