the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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