Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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