i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
