dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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