Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
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So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
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I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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