just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
