Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize