Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
