how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
