I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
