According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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