Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
it's great music for shaving your balls
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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