arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
