I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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