Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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