I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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