No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.