SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize