No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him