My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
