if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
