I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
