Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
