u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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