Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
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The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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