He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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