no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life