you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.