So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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