Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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