Kiss
Puke
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
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