he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
