We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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